Finding Contentment in Hard Seasons with Abigail in the Bible

Our focus verses are Philippians 4:11-12. In the New Living Translation it reads: “Not that I was ever in need, for I have learned how to be content with whatever I have. I know how to live on almost nothing or with everything. I have learned the secret of living in every situation, whether it’s with a full stomach or empty, with plenty or little.”

Floral graphic with Philippians 4, 11 and 12.

The Amplified Bible expands a little more on what Paul means when he talks about being content: “Satisfied to the point where I am not disturbed or disquieted in whatever state I’m in.”

When you hear that, it’s hard not to think, “I wish I would have really grabbed a hold of that earlier in life.” But Paul said it was something he had to learn, and we love that the text points that out. He said, “I have learned.” It’s not something that happens instantaneously. It’s not going to happen the first time we read that verse. We believe God is going to give us the strength to do it, but it’s something we learn over time.

Paul’s Secret to Contentment

It’s important to explore the background when Paul says some of the things he does. He was in prison at the time of writing. And interestingly, according to the Grace and Truth Study Bible, Paul was responsible for paying for a lot of his own accommodations in prison, (which is something I had never heard before.)

He was thanking the Philippians for sending him gifts and money to help him. So it was interesting that he wasn’t making a comparison between living a life of freedom and living in prison. He was just in a situation where things could go from really bad to really worse, and he was letting them know that it’s okay, because he had learned to be content whatever situation he was in.

A Picture of Contentment in a Difficult Season


When we look for someone we can maybe relate to—someone who went through difficult circumstances but displayed that contentment—Abigail is a wonderful example. If you haven’t read her story, you can find it here in 1 Samuel 25. She’s also mentioned again in 1 Samuel 30.

Abigail was married to a very difficult man. Scripture describes him as “crude and mean in all his dealings.” We can assume those characteristics applied to his relationship with Abigail as well. She was accustomed to taking care of the home and running interference for Nabal—with his servants, probably with their social circle—because of who he was. The servants trusted her. They knew who to come to when they needed help.

When they saw that David was going to wipe out the whole group of them because of Nabal’s offense, it was Abigail they ran to. She kicked into action. She went and fed David and his men, which was one of the biggest problems they were having. And David even thanked her for preventing him from doing something terribly wrong.

Abigail was living a very difficult life, but she navigated it with wisdom. The servants witnessed how Nabal responded to David, and they ran straight to Abigail. She had the wisdom to know the next steps to take.

The Fruit of the Spirit


There is something striking when you look at what Abigail demonstrated in contrast to Nabal. He was mean and crude, and she showed the opposite in every way. She demonstrated peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness, and self-control. Those are what we know today as the Fruit of the Spirit, and they describe Abigail perfectly.

Abigail believed in God’s faithfulness, and we see that in her conversation when she goes to smooth things over with David. In 1 Samuel 25:30 she tells him, “Even when you are chased by those who seek to kill you, your life is safe in the care of the Lord your God.” She recognized God’s promises, which no doubt gave her hope and strength to do what she needed to do with confidence.

Abigail recognized God's promises which no doubt gaev her hope and strength to do what she needed to do with confidence.

Today, we have the help of the Holy Spirit dwelling within us to help us with those same things. If we can draw on the Holy Spirit to embody these qualities, we, too, can have contentment and demonstrate it the way Abigail did.

Making the Choice to Be Content


We also recognize there is a difference between ongoing circumstances and a traumatic event. It’s important for us to make that distinction. When you are right in the middle of a traumatic event, maybe Paul’s teaching on contentment isn’t what you need to hear in that moment. Survival is really what you’re focused on.

Maybe it’s all you can do to just get through it. That could be what Abigail felt as she faced the crisis with David. But the life she was living day in and day out with Nabal? That was a season. A long season of difficult circumstances that she was navigating every day—and doing it beautifully.

Paul said he learned to be content, and that involves choices. He could have sunk into discouragement and depression, but he chose contentment. Abigail also made a choice to be content. She knew the season she was living in, yet she made it the best she could, and we can do the same.

Whatever your circumstances look like right now—whether you are in a season of want or a season of plenty—let’s find encouragement in Abigail’s story and look to her as an example. The strength we need to live content can only come through our relationship with the Lord. 

The secret to being content that Paul referred to can be found in Philippians 4:13, “I can do everything through Christ who gives me strength.” Let’s think on these words as we seek the Lord for the strength to choose contentment in every season.

Can God Restore My Relationship?

When we dig deep into topics from Scripture that affect our lives today as women of faith, big questions tend to surface. Thankfully, our mighty God is faithful to guide us with wisdom and insight as we bring those big questions to him.

Relationships can be difficult at times. They can also be a great blessing, so learning to navigate the intricacies of relationship dynamics is important to our spiritual growth.

Many of us have experienced periods of separation from family members or friends. When the estrangement lingers and there seems to be no solution in sight, what do we do? Can God restore the relationship? How do we pray for broken relationships?

Our Heavenly Father is a God of restoration. When we look at Romans 5:10, we see that God restored our relationship to Him through the death and resurrection of His son, Jesus Christ. 

“For since our friendship with God was restored by the death of his Son while we were still his enemies, we will certainly be saved through the life of his Son. We were enemies of God through sin. And through Jesus God restored our relationship to Him.” Romans 5:10 NLT

So yes, God can restore relationships, and restoration is part of His plan.

But we need to remember that God’s ways are far beyond our own. He is the Alpha and Omega, the beginning and the end. (Revelations 22:13)

There are 3 things to consider as we bring our requests to God and ask him to restore a relationship: God desires to restore relationships according to His way, in His timing, and for His purposes.

God desires to restore relationships His way.

We have our own reasons for wanting a relationship restored. Estrangement hurts. Long periods of time away from family or friends causes an emptiness we cannot fill on our own. We wonder why, and the not knowing adds to the agony.

We try to take control of the situation and resolve it on our own. But we also know, we cannot control our loved one’s actions or decisions. We want to reconcile so badly, that we’re willing to do anything to make it happen!

God’s Word reminds us that if we will take a step back, and let him work it out His way, not only does He get glorified, but it always turns out better than when we try to fix it. Whether we see change happening our not, we can trust our Heavenly Father’s plan. He is always working everything together for our good.

God will also keep us away from harm for our own protection and spiritual growth. We can trust His promises, and also His process.

God desires to restore in His timing.

God’s timing is so vastly different from our own, that we can’t even fathom it.

I once heard a story from a precious woman who was estranged from her father for many years. As he lay in his hospital bed nearing death, she was able to visit with him, and they both took hold of the opportunity to seek each other’s forgiveness and reconcile. This woman could have chosen to harbor bitterness over the years lost, but instead she chose to rejoice in their reconciliation.

When we choose to trust God’s timing instead of our own, we will find renewed peace in God’s sovereignty where our relationships are concerned.

God desires to see restoration for His purposes.

We know that God works all things together for good to those who love Him and are called according to His purpose. (Romans 8:28) That tells us God is working everything together for our good right now, even when we’re struggling with estrangement from someone we love. 

If we’ve been praying for restoration and it hasn’t happened yet, we can trust in God’s promises for us as his beloved children. He will show us the right path.

“Trust in the Lord with all your heart; do not depend on your own understanding. Seek his will in all you do, and he will show you which path to take.” (Proverbs 3:5-6)

When the sting of separation from a family member or dear friend leaves a gaping hole in our hearts, it’s hard to keep hoping. God has much to say about hope. Hope is one of our greatest gifts from him.

Hope will breathe life into our day when we feel empty or lonely from seeking reconciliation. But expectations can be exhausting. Expectations can create a weight we weren’t meant to carry, while hope offers relief as we trust God with the outcome.


Have you been in a season of estrangement from a family member or friend and wondering if God will restore that relationship? Let the following prayer guide you into a closer walk with your Heavenly Father. He loves you with an everlasting love. Let’s pray together.


A Prayer to Reconcile with Estranged Family or Friends

Dear Heavenly Father,

Thank you for _________. (Your loved one’s name here.) I know you love them even more than I do, and I pray you will lead us toward reconciliation in our relationship. We have been estranged, but you are a God who can restore what was broken. Renew our hearts and help us both to seek you continually. If either of us has wandered away from you, draw us back with your unfailing love and tender mercy. I trust you and believe in your power to reunite me with ________.

Your ways are perfect, and so is your timing. Even when I can’t see it, you are working in the waiting. Reconciliation often takes time. Help me demonstrate love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness, and self-control as I wait for you. (Galatians 5:22-23) During this season of waiting, please protect _______ from enemy attacks and be their ever-present help in time of need. (Psalm 46:1)

You have shown through your Word how much you love family bonds. Scripture declares, “As for me and my house, we will serve the Lord.” (Joshua 24:15) When I speak these words over my own home, help me to live out their meaning with grace and truth.

You are a God who loves connection. You sent your son Jesus to be with your children, spend time with them, and build relationships. Give me wisdom specifically for this estranged relationship. Help me discern when to reach out and when to stay silent. 

I will rest in the promise of Proverbs 3:5-6, seeking your will as you show me the path to take. I will continue to pray with hope, while also realizing I cannot control another person’s decisions or actions. Help me to know when to hold on and when to let go. I trust you with the outcome. 

Relationships with family and friends are not easy, but as long as I keep my focus on you, I know you will work all things together for my good. That doesn’t mean everything between me and _____ will always be good, but that you can bring beauty from ashes.

Thank you for the blessings of the relationships in my life. Thank you for the hope of reconciliation, the joy of family and friends, and the peace that comes through your precious son, Jesus. Amen.

Disclaimer: Today’s post is offered as a short study about restoration and is not intended as professional advice for relationship counseling. If you or someone you know is in a harmful relationship, please seek out a local ministry or counseling center for help. You can also find help at Focus on the Family by clicking here.

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