Why is it so hard for us go-getter girls to ask for help?

Maybe we don’t want to be a bother. We’d rather take on an extra load than put someone else out. Maybe we like being the responsible one— we want our people to know they can count on us. We don’t want to look weak or incapable.

Whatever the reason, we’re in our element when we’re the helper, not so much when we’re the ones needing help.

For the past year, we’ve had more than a few conversations here at kristinebrown.net about trusting God. I revealed my own struggle with trust, and how I learned to trust Him like I mean it. I’ve shared several things we can do to move to a new level of trust, and how actively trusting God can bring us more peace and joy.

God brought me to a deeper understanding of what it means to trust, but that also brings up an important question. Do I trust God enough to allow others to help me when I need it?

Trusting others is hard, especially if we’ve put ourselves out there and been hurt in the process. But allowing others to help us has more to do with trusting God than we may think.

A Story of Helpful Friends in the Bible

I’ll admit, asking for help is hard for me. I’ve always been known as the girl who can get things done and still look like I have it all together. My battle with colorectal cancer changed all that. It put me in a vulnerable place where I needed to let go of control and accept help for even the seemingly simple tasks. It was uncomfortable and downright humbling. But God knew that’s exactly what I needed.

“Some men came carrying a paralyzed man on a sleeping mat. They tried to take him inside to Jesus, but they couldn’t reach him because of the crowd. So they went up to the roof and took off some tiles. Then they lowered the sick man on his mat down into the crowd, right in front of Jesus.” Luke 5:18-19 NLT

I wonder if the paralyzed man felt the same vulnerability and discomfort I felt. His friends awkwardly hoisted him and his mat onto the roof. Dismantled someone’s house. Then lowered him inside through the manmade skylight.

I can only imagine how I would’ve reacted in his situation. Yet all that vulnerability brought him to a renewed level of trust in God’s plan over his own. By allowing others to carry him.

Friends, if we can grab hold of that, it will be life-changing.

“So I will prove to you that the Son of Man has the authority on earth to forgive sins.” Then Jesus turned to the paralyzed man and said, ‘Stand up, pick up your mat, and go home!’ And immediately, as everyone watched, the man jumped up, picked up his mat, and went home praising God.” Luke 5:24-25

I love that this man’s friends were a little bit over the top, and maybe even pushy. That’s the kind of friend who won’t let our insecurities get in the way of getting the aid we need. These friends let nothing stand in between their friend and the healing power of Jesus.

Everyone needs friends who will raise the roof with you.

In a recent article on the benefits of friendship to healthy living at susanuneal.com, I shared this:

“A good friend will walk alongside you through life’s trials and celebrate with you in life’s special moments.”

I cherish the friends who pushed their way through my tough exterior and found ways to help me. It’s still a struggle - saying yes when I want to put up walls of stone as I go through a difficult time. Sure, friends love celebrating together. It’s the trials part that gets tricky. We entertain lies instead of opening our hearts to the truth about God’s gift of friendships.

Let’s take a look at a few of the lies we believe, and how to exchange them for truth from God’s Word.

Letting People Help You

The lie we believe: I’m weak if I have to ask for help.

The truth: We’re stronger together.

“A person standing alone can be attacked and defeated, but two can stand back-to-back and conquer. Three are even better, for a triple-braided cord is not easily broken.” Ecclesiastes 4:12

The lie we believe: I’m being a bother.

The truth: My people love to help!

“Share each other’s burdens, and in this way obey the law of Christ.” Galatians 6:2

The lie we believe: They will resent me for asking.

The truth: They will be glad I asked and gave them the opportunity to serve.

“Give, and you will receive. Your gift will return to you in full—pressed down, shaken together to make room for more, running over, and poured into your lap. The amount you give will determine the amount you get back.” Luke 6:38

I pray these truths will encourage you the next time you’re hesitant to ask for help from your people. Whether it’s cooking a meal, watching the kids for a few hours, or taking you to a doctor’s appointment. Whatever the need, giving those close to us a chance to serve us in desperate times draws us into deeper dependence on our Heavenly Father.

Let’s trust God enough to ask for help and watch Him work mightily in our situations.

I’ve always been the kind of person who can’t relax until the to-do list is complete. And something that’s been left incomplete for weeks or even months, like overgrown flower beds or an appliance that keeps making that funny noise? Just walking by it sends my heart racing. I feel like it needs my attention now. Not tomorrow, not next week, right now. I don’t want to wait to have the satisfaction of getting it done.

Why Does God Want Me to Wait?

I used to be oblivious to the benefits of waiting. I felt like waiting meant doing nothing, not taking any action. It never seemed like a good thing.

Waiting for ten days for the doctor to call with test results.

Waiting for an editor to call me back with an acceptance or rejection.

Waiting for that wayward loved one to text.

Waiting always brought a whole load of negative thoughts, and if I could avoid it, I would. Until I read Rahab’s waiting story and learned there’s power in times of waiting.

Rahab’s Example of Waiting Well

From the time Rahab hid the Israelite spies from the king’s men in Joshua chapter 2 until the time of her rescue, Rahab had a lot of waiting to do. The spies only gave her two conditions to the deal she made with them: One, she must tie the red rope to her window and leave it there. Two, she and her family had to stay inside the house.

The spies gave her no indication of how long it would take for them to return. All she could do was wait.

It’s hard to stay put and wait! Yet so often that’s exactly what God calls us to do. He has the plan worked out, and our interference can delay its fulfillment. I think about Rahab tying the cord to the window and leaving it there, indicating her trust in God to take care of her and her family. I also wonder if I’d have the same resolve in that situation. Or would I lose my patience and take matters into my own hands?

“I wait for the Lord, my soul waits, and in his word I hope.” (Psalm 130:5 ESV)

This beautiful verse shows us that there’s power in waiting. Waiting for the Lord isn’t the absence of activity, it’s hoping in the One who never fails us. It’s taking action, even when that action is to be still. Like Rahab, adding action to our faith demonstrates our trust in God to provide.

How to Wait Well

Waiting well shows I’m actively trusting God when I feel like I need to do something. And from Rahab’s demonstration of obedience through waiting, I’ve discovered the benefits of waiting well. Hope, trust, belief. Those things grow in us as we linger a bit and soak in all God wants to teach us in the wait.

After her time of waiting, God made good on His promise to Rahab. Joshua chapter 6 tells of Rahab and her family’s rescue from the rubble after the Jericho walls fell. From her time of waiting, we find inspiration for God’s promises to be fulfilled in our own lives, too. Inspiration to help us wait well when we’re tempted to get impatient and help God in our own strength.

Hope for Times of Waiting

Are you in a time of waiting right now? Then take heart; waiting may be your best next step. I pray you discover peace and power as you actively wait on God to work in your situation. Remember, taking action doesn’t always mean you have to do something. It may mean simply trusting God for the answer in His timing.

If you’d like to learn more about Rahab’s waiting timeline, I take an in-depth look at the details of her story in Cinched: Living with Unwavering Trust in an Unfailing God.

One reader said this in her review of Cinched:

“Kristine writes like she is sitting down with you face-to-face. Her book spoke to my heart. If you desire to grow in trusting God more, then I highly recommend reading this book.” - Patricia

Reviews like Patricia’s touch my heart deeply. They are such a blessing to other readers who are looking for a book to help build their faith. If you’ve read it, would you consider leaving a review, too? And if you haven’t picked it up yet, there’s no time like the present to learn more about a bold woman of faith while moving to a new level of trust in God.