Welcome Janet Hines to kristinebrown.net today with this bonus devotion celebrating the launch of her new book, Between the Valley and the Mountaintop: Glimpses of God in the Middle Places.

How Big Is Your Love?

Every part of this picture I took while flying over Glacier National Park in

a helicopter shows me how big God is. His presence in every piece

is reflected from the clouds in the sky to the

peaks of the mountains, through the waterfall to the

tree line to the forests, river and valley below.

How big is your love? How big are you loved?

My three year old grandson was telling me goodbye. His new thing is all about how big he is loved and how big he loves. His dad picked him up from preschool the other day. “Dad, did you know God loves me and He loves you?”

Standing on my tiptoes I reached for the ceiling. Opening my arms as far as I could and making circles, “Buddy, I love you this much”. He stood there watching and his eyes got bigger with every circle I made.

He is grasping the concept of love. We hugged and off they went.

There have been times in my life when I have forgotten how big I am loved. Giving love

comes easy for me. Life is hard when we forget we are loved.

There is a love balance for our hearts that keeps us healthy. But there is a never-ending

intention the world sets against us to remind us daily we are not loveable.

Experiencing much loss through divorce and the loss of my parents, I have felt deep

despair as I asked “am I worthy to be loved”? My parents did not choose to leave me

but their exit from this world changed me. I can’t wait to see them again. Divorce is

another story. The depth of loss nearly destroyed me. Every single belief I had rooted

my concept of love in was shattered.

In time, God, who never changed His love for me, never left me or changed his mind

about me, began to show up and remind me in the tiniest of ways of His beautiful and

tender presence.

Sunsets prompt me to reflect back on my day. I look for God in situations I encountered.

Conversations where God showed up as a prompt to bring Him in are evident.

I never take Him for granted. Praising Him and being loved by Him

is my favorite place to be.

This scripture reminds me that I am significant in His eyes.

Psalm 8:3-4

When I look at your heavens, the work of your fingers, the moon and the stars, which

you have set in place, what is man that you are mindful of him, and the son of man that

you care for him?

God does care for me. God is extremely detail oriented - His creation reveals that to us.

God cares for you.

This scripture fills me up. God’s love for us is very present in these words.

Psalm 147:7-11

Sing to the Lord and give thanks to him. Make music to our God on the harp.

He covers the sky with clouds. He supplies the earth with rain. He makes grass grow on

the hills. He provides food for the cattle. He provides for the young ravens when they

cry out. He doesn’t take pleasure in the strength of horses. He doesn’t take delight in

the strong legs of men. The Lord takes delight in those who have respect for him. They

put their hope in his faithful love.

God delights in us. Haven’t we all longed for a relationship like that?

Love is evasive when we put all our efforts into being loved by humans.

So, when I am feeling the loss of love, I turn to these words and I know taking a step closer to God, envisioning myself being held by Him, brings me to the very place I need to be.

God is fully present in the valleys, on the mountaintops and in every middle place in between. Learning this has been the gift I have received from living this life of mine.

Deuteronomy 31:8

The Lord himself will go ahead of you. He will be with you. He will never leave you. He’ll never desert you. So don’t be afraid. Don’t lose hope.”

Joshua 1:9

“Here is what I am commanding you to do. Be strong and brave. Do not be terrified. Do not lose hope. I am the Lord your God. I will be with you everywhere you go.”

I end with this verse from the new testament. The first scripture I remember memorizing as a child was Psalm 23. The second is John 3:16 - God making “big circles” to show me how much He loves me and you, He gave the ultimate gift and the knowledge of that even as a young child planted a seed deep in me that would sustain me.

John 3:16

“God loved the world so much that he gave his one and only Son. Anyone who believes in him will not die but will have eternal life.

“Lord, please come close. Fill us up when we feel the barrenness of being unloveable. Show us Your presence. Comfort us through these words of Yours. Thank You, Father God. We love You. We love You. Amen”

Janet Hines is a photographer and author on a journey of restoration and learning to be grateful for brokenness. Through photography, travel experiences and writing, she brings together pieces of life in ways that connect with the hurting people who need to know they are not alone. Her heart’s desire is to build a community of hope through sharing Christ all of her days.

I am honored that my friend Abby McDonald agreed to share her story with us all this week as part of our series on IDENTITY & WORTH. Abby has a new book releasing soon, and we are so glad to have her here. Welcome, Abby!

For the One Who Doesn’t Know What Her Life Is Worth

When the doctor told me my son’s life might be in danger, I didn’t have to think about my next step. A nurse came in and put an oxygen mask over my face to keep me from hyperventilating and I motioned for my husband to sign the consent form. Natural childbirth wasn’t an option.

Even though I hadn’t met my son face to face, his life was worth the risk. The features of his face were still a mystery and I hadn’t heard his first cry, but I knew him.

I knew his heartbeat. I knew he got the hiccups every night around 6:00 pm.

Seconds later, the anesthesiologist appeared to pump me full of more drugs and they wheeled me to the OR. The fifteen minutes that passed between prepping me for surgery and hearing him for the first time seemed like an eternity. I remember feeling them pull him out of me and then, the cry didn’t come.

My heart dropped. Was everything okay?

All of a sudden, the sound filled the room. His cry was strong and loud, and for a moment, everything seemed right with the world. My husband brought him over to me, and I was frustrated that my arms were still too numb to hold him.

I spent the next year fumbling through the darkness of postpartum depression, but God brought me back to this moment as a reminder. When I grappled to find an identity deeper than my roles of wife and mom, I recalled those minutes of panic mixed with certainty.

You see, I never questioned my son’s worth. It was instilled in me from the moment I knew there was new life inside of me. But I did question my own worth. Instead of placing my value on the foundation of Christ’s blood, I placed it on my performance as a mother. And in my sleep-deprived brain, my performance didn’t amount to much.

What I didn’t realize was that God determined my life had worth before I was conceived.

If we look at Paul’s letter to the Ephesians, one of his greatest desires was for them to know their true identity in Christ. He knew their firmness in this truth was key to not being swayed by the constant noise of the world.

“For he chose us in him before the creation of the world to be holy and blameless in his sight. In love he predestined us for adoption to sonship through Jesus Christ, in accordance with his pleasure and will— to the praise of his glorious grace, which he has freely given us in the One he loves.” Ephesians 1:4-6 NIV

Embracing our true self means acknowledging that our value has nothing to do with our performance, and everything to do with Christ’s finished work. When we accept this lavish grace and love, our lives become an expression of love for him instead of an endless chase for affirmation.

One night after my son’s first birthday, I rocked him and marveled at how much he’d changed during the first year of this life. And it hit me. His Spirit spoke to mine and I realized – Like my love for my son, His love didn’t have anything to do with what I did or didn’t do. He loved me because I was his. It was as simple as it was beautiful.

Friend, if you’re having a hard time embracing your true self and the love God has for you today, take a moment to do this exercise with me. Close your eyes and picture someone you love despite every shortcoming, who you would give anything to protect. It may be a child or family member. It may be your closest friend.

Next, picture yourself putting a white robe on this person that blocks out all her past mistakes, the times she hurt you or was selfish. All you see is her best self. Not only that, but you see the person she is becoming, reflection of Christ Jesus.

Open your eyes. You now have a small inkling of how God sees you, each and every day.

Abby McDonald is a writer, speaker, wife and mom who has been featured on Proverbs 31 Ministries, (in)Courage, For Every Mom, Crosswalk and more. Her passion is to empower women to grow in faith and hope, even when life is messy. Abby lives with her husband and three children in western Maryland. She would love to connect with you at www.abbymcdonald.org., where you can download a free copy of her e-book, “The Daughter’s Manifesto” as a reminder of who you are in Christ.