When Difficult Change Challenges Your Identity

Welcome guest writer, Jule Sunne, to morethanyourself.com.

I knew I’d be sad, but the intensity of my feelings surprised me. 

This past month I followed my youngest on a four-hour drive to his chosen college. Two adult sons were already on their own, now our third and last one would be spending most of his time away from home. That left our 21-year-old daughter, who has special needs, to keep my husband and me company. 

I cherished parenting my children. Now, no longer needed to fulfill a full-time mothering role, I feel a bit lost … directionless. I had equated my identity with being a mother. When that role lost its primacy, I lost my identity and, thus, my sense of worth. 

We tie our worth to all sorts of things. Our vocation, whether we have children, whether those children are making good choices, the amount of our possessions, our health or fitness level, even our looks. But God has a different idea of what constitutes worth. 

The Lord created us in His image and declared it good.

He stamped us worthy when He adopted us. And our identity as His children assign us value. Valuable enough, in fact, to be worth the death of His Son.

“But God shows his love for us in that while we were still sinners, Christ died for us” (Romans 5:8 CSB).

Employed or jobless, a parent or childless, healthy or infirmed, young or old, wealthy or poor, well known or unknown … as God’s children, we all hold equal and great value in His eyes. But when we lose sight of our identity in Christ, our sense of worth becomes fragile, dependent on our performance or status in life. Then when life shifts—as it will—we face a crisis of identity.

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I did. I became so caught up in being a mom, I forgot that first and foremost I am a daughter of the King. When “Mom” no longer required my full-time attention, my worth took a hit. Confusion about my purpose set in. I’m finding that the way back to stable ground is to review what God says about me and who I am. 

I am loved. I am worthy. I am appointed. I am empowered. I am saved. I am a new creation. I am forgiven and redeemed. I am a conqueror in Christ. I am the Lord’s workmanship, fearfully and wonderfully made. I am a child of God. 

If you know Jesus Christ as your Savior, you can make the same claims. Your identity far surpasses that of your vocation or station on earth. You, too, are a child of God. That makes you invaluable. Believe it, even when the biting winds of change try to tell you otherwise. 

“For it was you who created my inward parts; you knit me together in my mother’s womb. I will praise you because I have been remarkably and wondrously made. Your works are wondrous, and I know this very well. My bones were not hidden from you when I was made in secret, when I was formed in the depths of the earth. Your eyes saw me when I was formless; all my days were written in your book and planned before a single one of them began.” (Psalm 139:13-16 CSB)


A Prayer to Understand Our Identity in Christ

Father, we are honored and awed that You would adopt us as Your children. Forgive us when we place our identity elsewhere. Draw us to You, Lord, and remind us of our worth in Your eyes. Remind us of the truth of who we are as heirs with Christ to the Kingdom. Help us place our identity solely in You. In Your Son Jesus Christ’s precious name, Amen. 



Julie Sunne delights in sharing about finding real hope in the middle of life’s real messes. Her own mess includes enduring multiple miscarriages and raising and now being caregiver for her daughter with special needs.

You can connect with Julie on her website, juliesunne.com.

The Fall - Or What Did I Fall For?

Our devotion this week comes from author and encourager, Susan B. Mead. I know you will enjoy what she has to say about RESTORATION. Let’s learn from Susan’s experience how restoration can help when we fall. Thank you for joining us for our series on restoration.

I fell, yet I didn’t skin my elbows or plow face first into the ground.

 

No, I fell onto my knees, bowed and humbled as God whispered to me, “Step off the grid…”

 

Why would God tell me that? Great question. Because He loves us so deeply, He corrects us when we stray from His ways.

 

Does that make you wonder how corrupt I’d become, exclaiming, “Goodness gracious, Susan, what were you doing?!”

 

Simple answer. Building a platform. The only issue was its purpose.

 

You see, I listened to all the teachers at all the writers’ conferences, Christian writers’ conferences, I might add, instructing us to build.

 

Build. Publishers and agents only want BIG.

 

Build. Bloggers need readers and page views.

 

Build. Social media is a MUST and MANY must follow…while they like, comment and share too.

 

Build I did. Yet I’d built a platform for me to stand on rather than an altar to lay my offerings to God upon; to let His word shine forth from the words He placed in my heart, head and hands.

 

Many say they saw God through my words, and that may be true, yet building a platform had become an obsession. My focus was flawed and faulty.

 

So God gently and graciously got my attention as He guided me back to His ways of working. He restored my soul when He whispered step off.

 

Oh Lord, yes!

 

So we moved off the grid - literally. Yet I got an office for internet connectivity, even though we were living off the grid, so I could share. Isn’t that what writers do?

 

Yet God whispered again, have you stepped off yet? Oh Lord, no. I still have my hands clasped tightly around “my” writing, blogging, radio show, etc., etc., etc.

 

“Step off. I know where you are, who you are, what you are doing, and I want you to become what I created you alone to be. Only then can you do it. Wholeheartedly,” God breathed deeply into my spirit.

 

Early this year, I heard “be released” as my word for the year from God.

 

I questioned:

From what, Father?

From who?

From where?

When Lord?

And finally why, Lord?

 

For I know the plans I have for you,” declares the Lord, “plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future.” Jeremiah 29:11 (NIV)

 

A hope and a future…I love how the Lord reaches out His strong arm to lift us up when we fall. For His plans for us are good. He lifted me up to live again when I’d fallen into the ways of the world.

 

Thank You, Lord. I am restored. Renewed. Revived. Released from the things I thought I needed to be alive and productive. I’m learning to let go so God can do what He needs to do in and through me – for His glory and my good.

 

Oh by the way, the scripture at the bottom of the journal page I’m writing on today is Psalm 32:8;

“I will instruct you and teach you in the way you should go;

I will counsel you and watch over you.”

 

Only God…

 

 A master storyteller and award-winning, bestselling author, Dr. Susan B. Mead, ThD, leaves audiences motivated to live a life free of regrets even though she has done the hardest thing any parent can do - bury her youngest son, Kyle.

Susan has been described as a solid, comforting voice in a messy world. Whether speaking to business professionals, women’s conferences, industry leaders or writer’s workshops, Susan’s insightful wisdom inspires audiences, empowering them to make healthy mental u-turns to help them find calm in the chaos.

Connect with Susan on her website at SusanBMead.com where she writes each Friday about her faith, family, friends, flowers, food or fitness journey, on Facebook and Twitter where she posts inspiration or on Amazon where her award-winning books, Dance With Jesus: From Grief to Grace and Don’t Go Through Life Naked: How to Clothe Yourself in God’s Power, are available.