It amazes me how easily I can fall back into a pattern of focusing on the negative. It just seems to be the way of life these days. Arguing, fussing, and frustration abound while pointing out the good in our lives takes a back seat. I’d like to say I’ve overcome the urge to dwell on the negative, but that wouldn’t be true. Lately I’ve been the first one to raise her guilty hand. The first one to break into a fit of complaining.

So when negativity sneaks in, how do we stay content? How do we “learn to be content” like Paul did?

Now I’ll admit, I do have some control over my complaining. I know this because I’ve managed to keep negative thoughts off social media and out of public. I’m able to resist griping at the grumpy lady at Walmart or shaking my fist at the distracted driver next to me. But get me in the privacy of my own home or in the comfortable presence of family and friends, and it’s a whole different story.

Somehow I’ve let my home become a safe landing place for negativity, but that’s not what God wants for me, my home, or my family. He wants me to have peace, joy, and the comfort of his Holy Spirit.

“I am not saying this because I am in need, for I have learned to be content whatever the circumstances.” Philippians 4:11 NIV

When difficult things come at us from all directions, it’s hard to fathom the kind of contentment Paul describes in Philippians chapter 4. We want to discover how to be content, like Paul talks about, but you might be asking yourself, “How can I be content with all the stuff going on in my life right now? With everything I’ve been through?”

No one understood the struggle for contentment more than Paul, and from his letter to the church at Philippi, we can be reassured today. Learning how to be content is possible, whatever problems we may be facing.

Discovering the Contentment Paul Describes

Paul’s sense of peace can be felt in reading these final words to the Philippians. I can almost hear his sigh of satisfaction as he gives the last charge to his friends.

Rejoice.

Give thanks.

Rely on God’s peace.

Think about good things.

This is profound advice, but even more so when we realize where they came from. Paul had been through some tough stuff - worse than many of us will ever experience. Yet because of that we can take comfort in knowing his words come from a place of having been there.

We may find it hard to listen to someone who can’t identify with our circumstances. That’s one reason this verse holds such power. Paul understood, but he didn’t just say, “Me too.” He encouraged us all by letting us know if he could do it, we could too.

The Secret to Being Content

Looking just a bit further into the chapter, Paul reveals the secret to true contentment. (Which isn’t really a secret at all.)

“I know what it is to be in need, and I know what it is to have plenty. I have learned the secret of being content in any and every situation, whether well fed or hungry, whether living in plenty or in want. I can do all this through him who gives me strength.” Philippians 4:12-13 (Emphasis mine.)

He gives us the answer in bold declaration. It isn’t in God’s character to hide the truth from us, or make us scrounge for what we hope for. The message is simple, delivered through a trusted servant of Christ. The answer is this:

Learning to be content begins with letting Jesus be my strength.

Contentment is a tricky thing - at least, we can make it that way. And God knew we couldn’t find it alone. We would need help, which He generously provided. Jesus longs to be our strength, and to help us find contentment when we struggle to do it on our own.

So when I start to fall back into that old pattern of negativity and complaining takes the place of speaking God’s praise, I have hope. In verse 18 Paul says, “I am amply supplied…” He had what he needed, and that was enough.

May we all find strength through Jesus today to see we are amply supplied with God’s goodness. And may we trade negativity for a content-filled life.

Blessings,

Kristine

How to start the new year with joy when you are missing what once was.

“Yet God has made everything beautiful for its own time. He has planted eternity in the human heart, but even so, people cannot see the whole scope of God’s work from beginning to end.” Ecclesiastes 3:11 NLT

I’ve noticed something lately.

A sobering reality. My social media feed has been filled with posts and reminders of how difficult the holiday months can be for those missing someone. Whether the loss happened recently or in years past, many of us have experienced the kind of loss that leave us entering a new year with sadness.

Looking back at what we’ve lost can make it hard to find joy in things ahead.

This past year my closest childhood friend died unexpectedly, and with that sudden loss came a flood of my best memories growing up. She was somehow woven through each important milestone of my life, and thinking back on those precious times brought a realization that the milestones ahead of us would not include her. Not any more.

So what is the answer when we struggle to find joy in the new year while grieving what once was? How do we stay positive looking forward when everything reminds us of the loss? Allow me to share a few tidbits of truth I’ve gleaned from trusted friends as they’ve walked through grief. May the wisdom they have shared offer hope as we move into the new year.

We’re not alone in our loss.

I didn’t expect to lose so many close friends while still in my 40’s. As a child, 40 seemed like an eternity. But now that I’m nearing the end of that decade, it’s not so old after all. Yet all around me I see people grieving over losing someone they love.

A dear friend lost her husband this year. Another friend lost his wife just a few years ago. And there are others, too. Most of us would find it easy to recite name after name of people we know dealing with grief. One thing I’ve learned from these friends and my own experience is that even though loss can make me feel lonely, I am not alone.

It’s perfectly normal to feel alone, when things, places, and events remind us of the person we miss. But can I encourage you to do something, even though it may be hard? If you’re missing a loved one today, reach out to someone and ask them to pray.

When we reach out to others for support, they will pray for us. When we make an effort to find someone who understands, God will point the way. If you’re entering the new year missing someone you love, keep reaching. Keep seeking. Keep asking. You will find people to walk alongside you and pray for you with each step.

We can find new purpose in our memories.

When I gave birth to my son many years ago, the first person I called was my childhood friend.

Things went wrong that day. Decisions had to be made. My husband and mom were with me through the trauma. And when it was all over and that big baby boy rested quietly under the warmer next to me, I asked for the phone to call my friend.

We lived several states away, but we’d been there with each other through life’s biggest moments. She knew exactly what to say with my emotions running high and my physical body exhausted. That memory comes back now as another calendar page turns and our kids are grown. I can’t help but think of her two beautiful children. The milestones they will reach this year, and how they’ll wish so deeply that their mother could be there to see them.

Good memories of loved ones can weigh heavily on our hearts because we dread the thought of them missing out on all the things. But there is hope. Instead of allowing those memories to cause despair, we can shift our minds toward renewed purpose.

We can let the memories of those we loved most fuel our motivation to keep moving forward.

When a new experience brings to mind an old memory, I remember my friend’s smile. I imagine her delight in this new memory being made and determine how I can make more memories in her honor. And when I feel despair begin to weigh me down, I turn my hurt into a prayer.

A prayer of gratitude for the past.

A prayer for her husband and children.

For joy in precious memories made and comfort and peace through the pain that will come.

For the ability to move forward with the eternal hope that we have because of God.

We have hope in eternal life through Jesus Christ.

The verse above is like a supernatural sigh of relief when I feel separated from someone I love. Because the truth is, we aren’t really separated at all when we accept the gift of eternal life given to us through Jesus.

We tend to think of life in segments. We live in our mother’s womb. Then we live on earth. Then we’re gone somewhere else. But God views life so differently than we do. His ways are beyond what we can fathom. God created a seamless existence. We know this because the Bible tells us life with Jesus is never-ending. The longing comes when we find ourselves at different places on the continuum.

So let’s breathe in this verse from Ecclesiastes and rest in the promise it holds. God planted eternity in my heart and yours, and in every loved one lost who chose Him.

May we remember these truths today as we begin a new year of joy-filled possibilities. When we feel alone, we have hope. When we feel in despair, we have purpose. When we feel separated, we have eternal life through Christ. Let’s carry every memory of our loved ones with us as we move forward.

Blessings,

Kristine