“And David was greatly distressed, for the people spoke of stoning him, because all the people were bitter in soul, each for his sons and daughters. But David strengthened himself in the Lord his God.” 1 Samuel 30:6b ESV

mountains with text that says what to do when I pray but still feel down

I’d been praying about my situation for weeks. Friends were praying for me. Our pastors were praying too. But this particular Sunday when I walked into church, the pastor must’ve sensed my discouragement or seen it in the look on my face.

Discouragement has a way of changing our countenance.

During the worship service, he walked up to me and said words that he no doubt thought I needed to hear. Words that would encourage me and help me not feel so down. He said, “God’s got this. You know that, right?”

I nodded in agreement, although what I felt on the inside didn’t match the fake smile I attempted to create on the outside.

Why Do I Feel So Down When I Know God Is in Control?

Truthfully, I knew God had my situation all under control, but for some reason the pastor’s question kept coming back to me again and again. Did I really trust God with my situation? And if so, why was I still feeling down?

When we offer our most desperate prayer to God, we trust Him to work on our behalf with His love, mercy, and peace. We know we can rely on Him in our daily decisions and toughest challenges.

But honestly, when I come face to face with life’s biggest challenges, it’s hard to stay positive, even when I’ve given it to God in prayer.

David in the Bible knew this, as well.

In the verse above, David felt alone because of his circumstances. He had no one to turn to for prayer support. In fact, all his men were so distressed, they talked about taking it out on David.

When he had nowhere else to turn, he knew where to find encouragement.

“Then David said to Abiathar the priest, the son of Ahimelek, ‘Bring me the ephod.’” (1 Sam. 30:7 NIV)

The Significance of the Ephod

”Bezalel made the ephod of gold, of blue, purple, and scarlet yarn, and of finely spun linen.“ Exodus‬ ‭39‬:‭2‬ ‭CSB‬‬

God chose Bezalel, a skilled craftsman, to oversee creation of the ephod and everything else needed for the Tent of Meeting. Exodus 39 gives us a description of these items and their importance to God’s people and their journey toward the land of promise.

David asked Abiathar the priest to bring the ephod because, “He desired to consult God.” In his distress, sending for the ephod signified David’s desire to spend time in the Lord’s presence, reminding himself of God’s promises.

Through the ephod, David was able to seek the Lord’s will for his situation. Even though surrounded by men weeping in despair, David turned to God and discovered His promise for certain victory over the enemy.

Sometimes in life we will be surrounded by the faithful prayers of family and friends. Our hearts will be uplifted as we know others are standing with us and holding us up in our trial.

Then there will be other times when we feel alone and unsure where to turn. Times when we’ve prayed, but we still feel discouraged. We shouldn’t feel any less spiritual when we pray but still feel down. In those moments, we need to guard our hearts against despair. Instead, we must encourage ourselves through what we already know to be true.

One promise I turn to again and again when I’ve prayed but still feel down is Philippians 4:19:

“And this same God who takes care of me will supply all your needs from His glorious riches, which have been given to us in Christ Jesus.” Philippians 4:19

God’s faithfulness lifts my spirits every time. It helps me encourage myself in the truth that the pastor wanted to remind me that day.

God’s got this. Even when I don’t feel it. Even when I’ve prayed and prayed but feel alone. Even when I can’t possible imagine a way out.

Let’s take our example from David today. We will have moments when we look at the world around us and get discouraged, but that doesn’t have to stop us from making the choice to seek the One who never fails us. God promises to provide for our needs, and we can trust Him.

5 Things Your Pastor’s Wife Needs from You Right Now

She calls your name in prayer every night before attempting to sleep. She lifts your family up to God in the most difficult times of your life. She faithfully attends every church event. (She plans most of them, anyway.) You never see her without a smile on her face.

All the while her husband and family are prime targets of attack.

Beside every pastor is a woman willing to walk with him through the ups and downs that come with the profession. No other job relies so heavily on faith and offers so little worldly reward. Pastors are under scrutiny now more than ever. Because of this, the pastor’s wife carries a heavy load. So what can we do to ease her burden?

As the women of her congregation, we want to help. We may be tempted to send a quick text saying, “Let me know if you need anything.” But there is a better way to make sure we’re blessing our pastor’s wife and supporting her, as well as our pastor.

There are practical things we can do to assist our pastor’s wife today.

What can I do to help my pastor’s wife?

My husband and I served as interim pastors at various churches in times of transition. We also served as church planters.

We’ve seen the role of pastor and wife from both perspectives - as the church shepherds and as part of the congregation. We’ve understood the burden pastors feel for the well-being of their flock. So when we’re not serving in a pastoral role, we want to show our pastors and leaders in the church how much we appreciate the important work they do.

A Pastor’s Wife and Her Role in the Church

During my time as a pastor’s wife, many women blessed me with exactly what I needed to press on when all I wanted to do was give up. So many times I felt drained. Poured out until I had nothing left to give.

I wondered if my work mattered, and in the face of what seemed like constant opposition, I questioned my calling. Yet at just the right time, God sent someone to come alongside me and encourage me.

From those experiences, I learned how vital it is to stand beside our pastor’s wives, and how even the simplest act can be a huge encouragement to her. Here are 5 things your pastor’s wife needs from you right now. Prayerfully consider how you might follow these tips to help ease her burden today.

5 Ways to Bless Your Pastor’s Wife Today

“For this reason, ever since I heard about your faith in the Lord Jesus and your love for all God’s people, I have not stopped giving thanks for you, remembering you in my prayers. I keep asking that the God of our Lord Jesus Christ, the glorious Father, may give you the Spirit of wisdom and revelation, so that you may know him better. I pray that the eyes of your heart may be enlightened in order that you may know the hope to which he has called you, the riches of his glorious inheritance in his holy people and his incomparable great power for us who believe.” Ephesians 1:15-19 NIV

Pray for Her

Even though our intentions to pray for our pastor and his wife may be good, I am the first to admit falling short in my commitment to pray for them. Make no mistake, the pastor’s wife is an integral part of our church leadership, so we need to remember her in our daily prayers.

The pastor’s wife may remain silent most of the time, but consider the many people she ministers to each day. And she does it all with love.

We have no idea what the people in our church family may be going through, but she knows. The pastor’s wife intercedes in prayer for every single person in our church, including us. Let’s pray for wisdom and revelation on her behalf, as Paul says in verse 17. God will give her strength as we intercede for her in prayer.

(For helpful prayers, visit the free downloads page and see the resources available there. Enter your email here to gain access.)

2. Communicate Your Gratitude for All She Does

“I have not stopped giving thanks for you…”

Nothing says I appreciate you like a word of gratitude. Whether in person or in a hand-written note, a simple thank you will lift her spirit and offer an encouraging word when she needs it most.

I recall a time of discouragement in our ministry. All pastors face those times now and then. At just the right moment, I received a thank you card from a dear woman in our church. I will never forget her sincere gesture. We shouldn’t underestimate the power of a kind word.

3. Show Her Your Commitment to the Church

Your pastor’s wife may ask for a commitment from you to help or serve in a specific way. Can I share a secret with you? She usually hates to ask because she knows you are busy with your own work, family, and life. She wouldn’t ask without a lot of thought and prayerful consideration.

You can be honest with her (and yourself) about what you are able to do, but also be gentle. Consider her heart and her feelings while considering how you can help.

Pastor’s wives need us to serve. Let’s look for ways to help while remaining realistic with our commitments.

4. Don’t Be Afraid to Take a Stand Against Criticism

Sometimes even those well-intentioned conversations can turn toxic.

We may mean well, but even a simple statement like, “I wish our church had this…” or, “If only our pastors would…” can lead to our sweet pastor’s wife feeling criticized.

When someone criticizes our pastor’s wife, it’s okay to speak out against the criticism. We don’t have to be harsh with our words to be firm in our commitment to support her ministry. We can simply and gracefully put an end to the conversation, then walk away.

5. Make Her a Simple Casserole, or Your Favorite Dish

This one’s my favorite, probably because cooking is not something I enjoy! I am thrilled when someone surprises me with a meal. Want to bless your pastor’s wife in a very tangible way right now? Cook a casserole and surprise her family with a yummy dinner.

You don’t have to be an amazing cook to bless the pastor’s family with a meal. A sweet friend from our church used to pick up a bucket of bar-b-que, a package of buns, and a bag of chips for us once in a while. What a treat that was! I didn’t have to cook, and I could enjoy time with my family. Food is a sure-fire way to show your love and concern for her.

We can rest assured that our pastor’s wife loves us more than we know. We shouldn’t feel overlooked or forgotten if she hasn’t talked to us in a while. We must remember how overwhelming her role can be.

Let’s commit today to lift her up, just as she does for us.

May these tips I’ve shared with you here inspire you to find other ways to support your pastor’s wife and her ministry within the church. Our efforts will make a difference in her life, her family, and our community.